Overcoming Self Doubt

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Those who know me know that I’m, like, the most positive person ever. Even when I feel like crap, I will avoid speaking on it. Instead, I rehearse affirmations over my life, health, family… everything — hence our most popular tee “I Am Enough”. I wholeheartedly believe in the Law of Attraction, so I am careful of the words I speak and make conscious attempts to alter the situation within my mind and just surrender the rest. That’s me, Mrs. Go With The Flow’. However, there are always those moments when I just can’t shake it. I question myself, “Am I really enough?”

You know the saying, “God will never put on you more than you can bear”? Well, God also gives us free will to make our own decisions. I start to wonder that perhaps (in some situations) is it our bad decisions or lack of knowledge really what put us into sticky situations, not God? As a mom of 4 boys, a wife to a small business owner and an entrepreneur myself — I find myself struggling to balance it all. I know I’m not alone. I’ve been in the dumps for the past couple of weeks because I have been questioning my abilities.

My husband, a Personal Trainer, bought me this screen printer so that I could make some tees for his clients at our gym. After watching several how-to videos on YouTube, I got started printing the tees. I screwed up, a lot, but I was able to stock the gym with the t-shirts he wanted for our clients. Then, I thought… “Now what”? Our 50+ clients had been asking for t-shirts to represent the gym, but they weren’t exactly flying off the racks. We had this huge piece of equipment in our basement that was beginning to collect dust. That’s when I had the idea for Parentees. I had never seen very many tees that represented moms and dads out there, at the time, so I just went for it. No research, no budgeting, just pure passion!

I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I went from 3-5 orders a week to 35 orders in one week in a 5 month span! Of course I was over the moon excited. I mean, it’s an indescribable feeling to know that other people love what you have created. Then, reality set in when I had to start pushing these orders out. I naively ordered a little more than enough tees to fulfill the orders. Of course, I screwed up a few here and there, so I had to re-order only to find out that they were now on backorder and would have to wait weeks to finally receive my shipment. Which meant my customers had to wait. My brand new, beloved customers. Oh God! I screwed up. I spent much of the last few weeks beating myself up. When I would try to convince myself that these are growing pains and that everything will be OK, I would question myself, “Am I really doing enough?”

Have you ever had so much to do that you get to a point that you don’t want to do anything? That’s where I was. With each email of my beloved customers inquiring about their delayed order, I felt more and more defeated. I was screwing up prints because I was rushing to get these orders out, which created more stress. You should also know that I am the type of person that never wants to spread negative vibes. I didn’t tell anyone about the situation that I had put myself into – not my friends, not my mother, not even my husband. I’d just keep smiling and speaking affirmations like everything was going to OK. Well, it wasn’t! Not until I took ACTION.

So I did. As mothers, we tend to take on a lot and don’t feel like we are allowed to complain. We feel like we can do it all and in some aspects we do! But, I realized that it’s OK to ask for help. So, I picked up the phone and called my mother a couple of weeks ago. She dropped everything and moved from Arizona to come stay with us to help watch my babes throughout the day so I could get stuff done [sighs of relief]. While my husband is supportive of Parentees, he thought I already had enough going on and warned that I would overwhelm myself. He was the last person wanted to go to, because up until that point I had given him every reason to believe that I had everything under control. Well, to my relief he had sensed my level of stress and was more than willing to help. A few days ago, he placed an order for the largest amount of t-shirts I had ever ordered which will finally allow me to build an inventory — which means no more print-to-order. Yasssssss! Oh and I just hired a bookkeeper/assistant so that I can know way a ways ahead that it’s time to re-order tees to print. She will also be helping with the other stuff that I’d rather not deal with and can focus on the creative process.

I still have a ways to go until I can call feel comfortable calling myself a professional Screen Printer, but I am not giving up. I created another IG account just for misprints called @parentees_oops, where you can purchase Parentees for up to 75% off! Now IF I screw up a print, I won’t have to panic and have my customers wait another week or so. I’m sure there will always be bumps along the road, but I’m learning valuable lessons about business and life. When I need to get motivated I drink some coffee, put on some gangsta rap a motivational YouTube video and get it done! Lol. Last night, I was listening to Les Brown and he stated, “Anything that is worth doing is worth doing badly. See, anything that is worth doing is worth doing is worth doing RIGHT (as we have been taught) IF you know how to do it. But, if you don’t know how to do it then it is worth doing badly until you GET it right.”

I say all of this to say that: We can overcome self doubt by realizing that we can not be perfect. We overcome self doubt by analyzing the problems and taking appropriate actions. We overcome self doubt by seeking help where we need it. We will make mistakes, we will disappoint people, we will lose “friends”, we will fail in countless areas of our lives. But, that doesn’t make us failures. We only fail when we give up. So, if you’re tired after being up with the baby, then reach out to a family member so you can get a few hours of sleep. If you’re struggling to keep the house clean, give yourself a break and hire a maid (even if its just a one-time thing). If you haven’t taken a shower in two days, wait for their nap or bedtime and take a nice long bath! We can’t pour from an empty cup. So take time for yourself and you will receive an abundance of clarity about whatever it is that is troubling you.

Thanks for taking the time to read my vent, lol. If you have ever been where I am or have learned other ways to overcome your self doubt, then leave a comment below. I would love to hear from you.

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